Writing From the Mess

Dear Friends,

Image sourced from the Public Domain Image Archive / Internet Archive / Duke University Libraries

I didn’t mean to disappear again. After a year of being fairly consistent with weekly posting, I haven’t been so good at keeping up with my biweekly publishing goal.

I’ve been trying to write something here for awhile but it’s like the words are locked up in my head and I can’t find the key. I have been writing a lot—mostly poetry. That has felt extra necessary these days.

But I’ve been trying to write a sort of update on how things are going, which has been difficult because I don’t rly know and organizing sentences in a linear way that makes sense to the reader is proving to be a surprisingly hard task.

A couple weeks ago, I shared a video talking about how I was struggling with suicidal ideation—which by the way, I’m sorry if I freaked some people out; that was not my intention at all. I thought I ended it on a fairly positive note. But anyways, I thought I should share an update. I’m feeling considerably less suicidal than I was even a week ago. I’ve been getting a lot of support. I’m still not really okay but I know I will be, even if it takes a long time. And right now, I really wanna be alive. I hope you do too. And if you don’t, that’s okay. The feeling won’t last forever, I promise. Please stick around.

I’m at a messy, confusing, very gooey point in the story. But all I can really do is keep writing my way through it. Or trying to, at least.

Thanks for being here as I do.

I’ve been really into otter lofi.

I hope your mind is a safe place this week.

If you’d like to support my work but don’t want to commit to a paid membership, you can buy me a one-time “coffee” over on my Ko-fi page! Every little bit helps me to keep creating. <3